Pre chemo weight bitches...but not really

GOOD LAWD I weigh less than I did before I started chemo! Funky chicken dance, twerk twerk twerk, and drop it like it's hot...WOOOHOOOOO!

But not really

I remember in September/October my clothing starting to fit me tight, which was weird. I mean I was eating crap, but not all the time, and was quite active. One day I stepped on the scale and in the matter of two weeks I had gained 10 pounds. WTF WTF WTF. I know now that was my body fighting my cancer. So did I lose all my weight, kinda sorta. I still have 7 pounds to go to be satisfied. I am happy with the progress and can't wait to start EATING my fruit instead of drinking it. I'm also enjoying educating myself on the raw lifestyle. I won't do it every day, but I'm aiming for 3-4 days a week.

Here's to your health. Richard are you juicing?

PS: Javi has lost 26 pounds and is looking sexy as hell, can't wait for the doctor to clear me for physical activity, WHAT WHAT!

Chemo and the Scale

So many breasties at the beginning of their diagnosis are terrified of that unknown. Will I stay or will I go. I don't want to lose my hair. I don't want to lose my breasts. The cancer patient (in everyones eyes) is always pale, hairless, and skinny. Trying to turn a negative into a lemon drop martini as I always do, I thought FUCK, I may lose some hair, and I will lose my tits, but hell I'LL ALSO LOSE SOME WEIGHT! Um NO! Let me dispell a huge fucking rumor.

Chemo #1-weight unchanged. After puking (moderate) and diarrhea (severe) I was shocked I wasn't down 10 pounds. Let's be honest, the first chemo was hard to muster up the strength to eat anything. Two weeks after chemo I put on a full Thanksgiving dinner and to be honest, I could only enjoy bites at most. I was probably struggling to get in 600 calories a day and I mean struggling. The times where I felt like nuggets from a fast food joint Javi was happy to oblige, just to see me eat.

Chemo #2-weight up 5 pounds. Sever puking severe diarrhea. Coming off of a fever and cough my appetite was awful.

Chemo #3-weight down 10 pounds. I was so sick after chemo #2 that I actually lost the 5 I gained and more. My onc was concerned and told me weight loss was not an option. Steroids (more than usual) pushed through my port, anti nausea patch given, oral steroids prescribed, and more nausea meds

It was after chemo three that the shit really hit the fan. By my 4th appointment I had gained the weight I lost plus more 17 pounds. I didn't get it, I mean I was still averaging like 600-800 calories a day at most. For the days I was able to eat two meals, I'd have days where I could barely stomach water. At this point I had the help of Mary Jane and fluids which I needed to receive on multiple ocasion. I could never drink enough water, it was a constant battle of trying to stay nourished. Now I know when people think of cannibis for medical purposes they think of us being high as kites and eating doughnuts all day. The fact of the matter is most days I was too weak to even get the lighter to work, or even strike a match. Most days I was too weak to even inhale.

After chemo 4 I had a new enemy....my body had enough of it all and I started retaining water. Chemo appointment number 5 I was up 20 pounds and my skin was tight. I was reduced to a chemo "waddle" I was winded just going to the bathroom. It was awful. I was immediately put on lasix and I was able to lose it all...but that dehydrated me so more steroids and fluids through my port. If I took lasix daily I got dehydrated, if I didn't I would retain water. It's a viscious cycle that I'm still dealing with and will deal with through my every three week Herceptin infusions.

Oh Herceptin or "diet chemo" as I like to call you. They said you'd have no side effects and they LIED. I'm having issues eating...again. After three juices (48 oz) yesterday I was done. So full, so nauseous, upset stomach. I ended the second day in a row throwing up, all because of Herceptin. Which also manages to make me fatigued for a couple of days. The juicing helps, I have bursts of energy throughout the day, but the truth is I wouldn't be able to work a full day without probably falling asleep at the wheel on the way home, or at my desk, or in the bathroom.

At the end of chemo I was back up the 20 pounds and at my heighest weight ever. I lost 10 before surgery but with my double mastectomy I wasn't allowed to take lasix and the swelling once again began. Add another 5 pounds and I was almost hysterical. A week after my double mastectomy I was down 10 pounds (with lasix). Then a few more days went by and I was down 5. Since I started juicing I'm down another 10 and now 5 pounds away from my pre chemo weight. WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO. That's a big deal right there.

I've got 4ish weeks left on the juic fast, which is ultimately met as a transition to clean eating. Still going to juice three days a week after the fast is over and eat mainly fruits, veggies, and nuts, with fish, meat, chicken sprinkled in.

After I lose the remaining 5 pounds I want to lose another 15 to get down to a healthier weight. Hopefully I can do that before my surgery. I'm thinking that my surgery will be literally a day or two days after my juice fast. The timing is perfect. There is still PLENTY of fat for fat grafting, summertime fine here I come!

Inflating the balloon

Court side at the MAVS game! I handed out the game ball/
waddled to hand out the game ball lol. CHEMO FABULOUS

Sigh,

I want to post pictures, I do. To be completely honest I don't care if the world seeings what double mastectomy boobs look like, because they look like shit! I think that all of those pink ribbon ads should be filled with pictures of post mastectomy "breasts", drains, bald browless lashless women who have put on 30 pounds of chemo weight, and vomit and diarrhea. Yes gross, but that's REAL. Out of respect for my sexy ass husband and the fact that no ones "boobs" or "foobs" or "nubs" in my case should really be out there, I won't.

But who needs pics when you have my graphic detail.

My post mastectomy bandage. As you can see....nothing there!

So I didn't get to keep any breast tissue. What does that mean? All of my insides of my boobs were taken out, my nipples, and aereola. So I have a scar on both sides that goes from boob side to boob side and is a zig zag where they took out my nipple. (/\/\) that's kind of what it looks like. So basically afterwards it was just sagging skin. In place of my breast tissue, they put a tissue expander, plastic water balloon. They inflated it immediately with 300 CC's in each nubbin'. When I go to the doctor (every two weeks), they stick a very large needle in my tissue expander and put in additional fluid. I was able to take in an additional 250CC's at my appointment last Thursday for a total of 550cc's. Not bad, but as my last post stated, I'm a member of the Big Titty Committee, not medium sized one! In order to get to the size I want I probably need another 200-250cc's in addition to the fat grafting so I'm hoping to get there next Thursday.

During the reconstructive surgery they will take out the tissue expander, put in the implant, and then do the fat grafting. That's how it's done!

Pump me UP and FAT FAT FAT

Grow grow grow!

Ok so boob cancer doesn't end after chemo or surgery...it like never ends. What do I mean by that, well what I mean by that IS

1. You have to wait for your shit to grow back...brows, lashes, hair, hair in unwanted areas...you get it
2. You have to deal with the weight.

Weight. Weight. Weight. This muthafuckin' weight. One of the most UNFORTUNATE side effects of BREAST cancer (not all were created equal, some people go through chemo and don't even lose hair...promise I'm not throwing shade) is the weight gain. 20-30 pounds. Yes I said it. Weight gain and bloating have been the biggest fucking disappointments to me because as the calendar will tell you Spring has SPRUNG and we are a stones throw away from summa'. If you live in the South, summer could be here any fucking day and my fat ass ain't ready. I have lost almost all of my chemo weight, I'm about 10 pounds from where I was pre chemo. Size 6, LAWD JESUS let me get there in the next month.

Ok so back to numbering shit

3. Reconstructive surgery bitches!! OMG I have not talked about that at all on here. So naturally, as the ORIGINAL Queen of the Big Titty Committee I refuse to be dethroned, especially by some bullshit ass cancer. So what I opted for is breast implants (don't think porn think a little more than tasteful titty) and fat grafting. I have no breast tissue so if they stick an implant in that shit will look weird like two rocks glued to my body or something. So over the implant he will put donor fat from errywhere, mid section, thighs (outter and inner puh lease, THIGH GAP BITCHES), and flanks (also known as LONJA/side and back fat). I'm telling him to take it ALL and what he can stick in my boobs to stick in my ass! Yes I've mentioned the ass thing, and I think a little fat redistribution will make me feel READY for summa'. Flat tummy, YES PLEASE!

Meh!

4. Food. Ugh. Ok so making this super short. On Tuesday Jav and I started a juice fast. 6 weeks of juicing different fruits and veggies in order to cleanse my system of chemicals, become more alkaline, and help with the weight loss process. I'll be doing updates every 10 days, why not a week well cause I don't WANNA! After we will juice M-W, Th-Sat will be healthy meals that are mostly plant based with organic seafood and turkey as protein additions. I'm already looking at vegetarian and low fat low sodium food recipes. Sunday=free for all.

5. I still have herceptin every 3 weeks. My 2nd (8th) one is Monday!

Now back to this disgusting kale, spinach, romaine juice. Ain't NOBODY got time for this, but I do have the weight for it!

Big Boobless Update

Marking them up to take em off!

Well as the title let you know, I got everything I needed and was at the hospital in diva fashion for my double mastectomy. It went FUCKING PHENOMENOL!

Here's why:

1. Friends came to support, shout out to Angelique who supported my loving husband. BFFs fo' real. Also Kim stopped by with a cute peluche and some gorg flowers from my work family as well as Akon (the rapper).
2. Right boob-cancer was murdered by chemo. Muahahahahahaha. Tek-9 style. My 2 cm tumor was only 1.5 cm of completely dead tumor
3. My lone cancerous lymph node was obliterated

Day of surgery (after)

4. My left healthy boob was healthy, had bumpy tissue....possibly evidence of future things going crazy maybe, glad it's gone.

I was in the hospital two days. Day of I felt fine, but when they tried to take me off the morphine drip the next day I got the worst migraine EVER!! They had to keep me in the hospital another day to help with pain management. I went home with two drains (testicles) that needed emptying twice a day. I was able to get in and out of bed without assistance. Javi gave me sponge baths in his sexy papi chulo underwear....ok no...no he didn't lol.

So I went from 34F to a 34B. Did they leave some? NO. They were able to expand me 300cc's immediately. Now my chest will grow hopefully to a 34DD in the next 6 weeks! Then I'll be ready for new foobs WHAT WHAT!

Get ready, big updates coming soon, but my ass is SLEEPAY so bye Felicia!