Huevos Rancheros

Well not really rancheros, but this is a post about eggs. Sigh. Ok so for all of my breasties, new breasties, breastie supporters, husbands, friends, sanchos, and younguns this post is about fertility and the big C. Now keep in mind, I AM TALKING ABOUT MYSELF! I am talking about breast cancer, but more importantly hormone negative, her 2 + cancer.


Ok, so D-Day (aka diagnosis day) came on the 3rd of November and chemo started about 11 days later. When I met my oncologist a whopping two days before I started chemo (Dr. Le was not about that waiting life) I wanted to talk fertility and she wanted to talk shake and bake, as in shake that shit out of you and bake that body to within an inch of it's life so that you survive but the cancer dies. In her defense this is what she does for a living. She didn't sugar coat shit, my type is aggressive, so aggressive it's chemo before boob chop. Freeze eggs? That process takes a month usually, depending on when your cycle falls. It involves waiting, pumping your body filled with hormone, harvesting/retrieving, all of which a breast cancer survivor doesn't really have time for. Waiting a month? Ain't NOBODY got time for that!

Enter Lupron.

If birth control is a gal's best friend then Lupron is that bitch's evil stepsister. To any of my previvors and survivors that have been on that shit YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. In retrospect it's hard to determine what was chemo and what was lupron, but the more I read about hot flashes, headaches, and acne the more I think this red headed stepchild was to blame.

Why Lupron?

My onc is a masochist! LOL. Not really. It's purely experimental really. Chemo fucks with active cells. A megadose of Lupron puts the reproductive system to sleep. Without getting too technical in the discussions of gonadotrophic hormones, menopause, and dormant ovaries, it basically is a chance that chemo will not interfere with your system because it is asleep. Now the benefit of being erpr- and her2+ was that my chemo choices were less toxic.....HOWEVER, given that my diagnosis came at the ripe ol age of 30, I had a greater chance of maintaining my fertility than those diagnosed in their lates 30s or 40s. Chemo choices+age=greater chance of fertility. Another benefit was that chemo pills like tamoxifen which halt hormone production in a similar manner were not an option for me since hormones didn't feed my tumor. Women usually have to stay on these for five years, sometimes indefinitely. I had three mega doses of Lupron, and by mega I mean 3X the recommended dose of the three month injection. So for those of you that hate the mathematics, one shot usually is enough to keep things all good for three months, for me one shot kept things good for 9. 9 X3=27, which in terms of years and months meant two years three months. I didn't find this out until I saw a specialist.

6 dense chemos, 12 diet chemos, one double mastectomy, one blood clot, one reconstructive surgery, and two new nipples later....NO PERIOD. Hmmmmm.

My last injection was August 2014. I assumed that around November Andres (el que viene cada mes) would be making an appearance. Nothing.

November.

December.

January.

February.

March.

April.

By this time it has been 8 months since my last lupron injection, and I finally decide to call a much recommended RE/Reproductive Endocrinologist/Fertility Doctor to have them test my ovarian function. I figured I'd be off in the summer and schedule an appointment for then...WRONG. Can you come in tomorrow? Um NO! I don't think you are understanding me....there isn't urgency I just want to know if everything is ok. She then tells me that Dr. R likes to see his survivor patients ASAP.

Holy Nervousness.

The hubs and I go in on our anniversary...thinking that would bring us luck! The Dr is awesome, he's going to run tests and then call me. One week later the fertility bomb drops, NO OVARIAN FUNCTION, NO VIABLE EGGS, IN MENOPAUSE. Um....DAFUQ!? Call my onc, um this is not what you said would happen? She tells me to calm down, I'm young, I'm healthy (minus the whole cancer thing), I have nothing to worry about.

Now let's get something straight, we never wanted to have kids right away, but this was looking like NEVER. The plan (because the onc would not allow any medication to be given, and I really didn't want to take anything anyways), was to retest me in three months to confirm that my reproductive system had been destroyed. If the numbers got worse or remained the same, the chances of fertility were slim. If the numbers improved, the Lupron did it's job, and protected my reproductive system. For those of you that know me, I don't take things lying down. I got off my ass and researched natural remedies. I did acupuncture, Castor oils packs. fertility massages. I drank disgusting teas, tinctures, and took loads of supplements like CoQ10, vitamin D, prenatals, omegas, etc etc etc. I ate healthier, only organic meats, less dairy, hardly any alcohol (one a week, if at all), and water water water. I started jogging, then added more workouts to the mix, which helped me drop weight and add muscle. When I went back in three months I needed to know that I did everything that I could to naturally improve my situation.

June comes around, still no period, but having some period like symptoms. Cramps were off the charts and then BAM, Aunt Flo came back. I called the RE because they told me to call if I got my period so that I could come in for testing. After an expensive blood test and a two week wait, they called to confirm that I was WITHIN NORMAL RANGE!

But.....because there is AWLAYS a BUT

My thyroid is out of whack. GREAT! Since then I've had another round of testing which I am waiting on results to see what my dosage will be for my thyroid. I've had an ultrasound to confirm that it's follicle and egg city up in thuuurrrrrr, and we've been careful because I'm not a year out from diet chemo.

I wrote this because fertility is a question we all have, especially when we go through this process. I encourage my breasties to get a baseline screening to check to see how things are doing. Also, remember that LiveStrong has fertility programs for survivors, should that be needed at a discounted rate.

I like my eggs boiled, but viable was a good thing too :)

xoxo,

The Boob Chica

Ever After: Going back to work...

Well the time has come for me to address one of the LEAST talked about parts of the cancer journey, the Happily Ever After. For this blog I will focus on work, other stuff to come about life after cancer is coming soon...I promise joo. Well breasties is life really better on the other side of treatment? Yes.....but there are some strings.

I rushed to the oncologist
after convocation
have my infusion.

Sigh.....work. Being a career gal can be hard...and let me preface this by saying going back to work SUCKED! If I

It's a hard pill to swallow when Happily Ever After is more (un)Happily Ever After.  DON'T GET ME WRONG, I am happy to be alive, but that came at a huge price, the physical, mental, and emotional beating. People often wonder about soldiers and post traumatic stress, and while I'm not qualified to say that is what happens to survivors, we definitely have a small degree of that. If you haven't gone through it, this is what having cancer/beating cancer is like:

OMG I'M GOING TO DIE WTF
Vomit Vomit Vomit
Your numbers suck you need fluids...again
Sigh, really I just peed on myself ....again
OMG my tumor is shrinking! Wooohooo
Why does it burn every time I use the restroom
Oh your chemo friend that was on the same schedule as you that you have sat next to for 4 infusions now...THEY DIED
Fuck it could come back
Nothing fits!! I can't lose weight.
I hope my husband doesn't think I'm fat or ugly, or fat and ugly
I wish I had more help
Fuck this chick I met, it came back and she's in hospice
Diaper rash....AGAIN
YAY chocolate!!
I drove to the store....why did I do that? I can't remember what I needed.
Boob surgery, foob swap out yay!
OMG is that ANOTHER LUMP? Fat necrosis? Phew, dodged a bullet
What do you mean my hair isn't coming back?
This is some bullshit, I can barely stay awake in this meeting/conference/planning session/data mining/emailing/phone call/life
Why is my whole damn toenail on the ground!!
Yes officer I'm just here puking, no I haven't been drinking I just had Herceptin aka diet chemo
OMG I can't remember my friends name....how old is her daughter?
I swear I paid the credit card bill for the last few months...what do you mean I'm three months late :(
I am so tired.....
My hubs smells good, bow chicka wow woooowwwww
I cant button my shirt my hands are shaking/numb/won't do what they are suppose to
I look weird without lashes
My friend died
No I didn't get to finish the booklets....I was out yesterday...puking...thanks for your lack of concern
Yay tacos
My chemo buddy was suppose to be out of the hospital, it's been 3 weeks and she's still in :(
What do you mean I have no more sick days? Fine, just dock me in pay I have no other choice
Nipple surgery recovery HURTS
I don't feel like getting up...I'm depressed

See the craziness of the thoughts...this is my life. Yeah sure there is an occasional rainbow, but it's dominated by a lot of negativity as a result of having cancer. You have two choices, to succumb to the negativity or roll with the punches. I choose to keep it moving. I lost a lot of friends from the chemo room, I shudder at the thought. You think it's normal to have seen so many people slowly slip away in front of you? No....it's not. Especially when you have the same thing that they did. I will never remember the day walking into the chemo room to see my friend Kiva, and she was gone....from this Earth....ovarian cancer :( THAT SUCKED.

Chemo during my planning period.
Meh!

 I'll admit I was out for my major chemos and double mastectomy, but my boob swap and nipple reconstruction were two surgeries I had during work, and along with Herceptin. I purposefully put my planning period at the end of the day so I could go to the doctor and receive treatment. I'm thankful I had some understanding administrators...unfortunately I can't say the same about my coworkers. I remember someone saying to a coworker of mine, "She just uses the fact that she had cancer to leave early." Um...well yeah...I have chemo every three weeks. I have to get blood drawn first, see the doctor first, then they have to stick me and drain a toxic liquid into my body for about an hour and a half, so yes....I left DURING MY PLANNING PERIOD to do that....just so happens it was at the end of the day...get over it! If people were going to be in my business that much they could have at least INVESTED dammit. I will let you in on it if you want to pick up the next medical bill that comes in my mailbox in exchange for the mass amount of shit people talked about me.

Nausea,pain,water retention fun

People on the news (that I rarely watch because of such a busy Real Housewives/Bravo/VH1 tv schedule...I like to keep my tv life as upbeat and drama filled as possible) always like to talk about "What's wrong with America?!" Well allow this Boob Chica to tell you: PEOPLE DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ANYONE ANYMORE. There you have it...and that was free, no need to buy a book for that little tidbit. I mean I returned to work, not wanting sympathy or recognition, just wanting to do my job; however, there were times when I felt that to be extremely difficult....especially in the first 8 months I was back. Why? MY BODY WAS  WRECK, it had just gone through battle, still receiving treatment, recovering from surgeries, one of which was the first month back...as if I had any control. My potassium levels never recovered so I would dehydrate easily, my vitamin D level was almost in single digits, and working a 9 hour day was hard. Their lack of support made it harder. Their continuous gossip annoyed me, especially when people got called out. One of my coworkers was diagnosed with cancer (Lymphoma) in October, she went through some of the same shit. She had to stick it out and work as often as possible, but when she was out people complained....and I just thought...really people? Most people didn't know that after the bell there was a mad dash for me to start driving just so I could pull over in the Target parking lot and sleep. I did that almost every day for the first 8 weeks of school. There were whispers "Oh she's leaving, she doesn't care." Um ok, whatever. I stayed late for one of those "mandatory" nights (even though my husband told me not to) and my legs were so swollen by the time I got home I could barely walk, I was so swollen and exhausted
. I was in such pain when I got up in the morning I almost couldn't walk down the stairs, my feet and legs had blown up, retaining water because I had been on my feet for so long the day before. I felt like a fool, was it worth it? No.

After 8 weeks I was able to drive home and fall asleep like a normal person in my bed. I couldn't keep up with cooking, or cleaning, or laundry. I was just so tired. Finally we got a maid to help, thank God my husband was supportive and helped fill in the gaps, along with Mrs. Elvira. I never took work home, what was the point? I just slept! I was nauseous just driving, which led to vomit, which led to dehydration, which landed my happy ass in the infusion room for fluids on occasion and in the ER with an awful bladder infection and stomach bug/food poisoning. It would take me forever to recover from ANYTHING! I remember throwing up 3 days straight and having my onc pump me fool of steroids and fluids just to get me through the week and then again to get me through the weekend. That's the crazy kind of shit I would do...just to be able to go to work without collapsing.

My weekend regimen

My nurse friend told me that my exhaustion was from not giving my body rest in between surgery and Herceptin. I felt I couldn't...people were talking, I needed to try my best to just get through. It wasn't until my vitamin D results came back in January that I realized how ragged I had been running myself. The doctor was shocked I could still function on a vitamin level of 14 and my dehydration. A normal Vit D is higher than 50. Sigh, how long had I been going like this? Then I'd get another stomach bug. I remember running across the hall to throw up and just begging God to let me hang in there for a few more hours. I don't know why stomach viruses hit me hard, but it was hard as hell to be rid of them. No matter the probiotic that was the one thing that really affected me post chemo treatment. I was worried about the flu, I should have been worried about the pukes!

The long of the short is that I made it through. Deep down I wasn't ready to return to work. The car accident in April of last year and the blood clot in June of last year were debilitating, and in retrospect I wish I would have taken another year off to recoup, from the ordeal, which turned into two more ordeals and me having two surgeries during peak times at work. I just wanted to forget my whole marathon of health and thought that diving headfirst into work was the answer...boy was I wrong. My advice to people who find themselves in the same situation: BE KIND to yourself. REST. Take a break, you've EARNED it. Being off of work recovering from cancer, chemo, and surgery DOES NOT equal rest or time off. It's easier said than done, but the first five years are crucial and being as stress free ass possible is important. Only do what you can handle.

Well, that's all folks, your girl is recovering from her eyeliner tats, and it's time for some ice!

Peace and foob sweat,

xoxo,

The Boob Chica

My Top Ten Chemo Must Haves

Time for me to share some of the things that made my journey a little easier. Keep in mind, I'm sure many of these "Must Haves" apply to more than just breast cancer, so feel free to share this list with people going through cancer of any kind. Better yet, BUY what they might need. When I talk cancer or chemo I'm coming from my perspective, the boob perspective, but also the chick perspective. Those with frank and beans may not share my enthusiasm for a good moisturizer or cold caps...or maybe they do...

#1 Entourage

Chemo can be fun. Let's face it, in this day and age where you are so plugged in this is your time to disconnect and get some one on one people time. Enter your Entourage. The Head Bitch in Charge aka Adrian Grenier was me. In the beginning of my journey I sent out an all call to my friends that the honour of their presence was requested at one of my 6 main chemotherapy treatments. Ha! It was a great time to catch up on some gossip and some normalcy. I was hooked up to the good good for an average of 6 hours. Four drugs dripping at a medium speed plus my premeds. Everyone is different, some drip slower, some drip faster. Colon cancer patients as well as prostate were there for a long time, other people were in and out. Some people sleep, some people ride that steroid train for a 48 hour bender. I was the later lol. My husband came with, until he saw how much I enjoyed the time with my friends so he skipped out on one or two chemos and went to work. I know you all love your partners....till death do you part, but if it's possible to give them a break from the puke and the infusions GIVE IT TO THEM. Besides the hubs didn't really care to hear about my college sexcapades and keg stands ;) Keep in mind that kiddos are usually NOT ALLOWED in the chemo room. If anyone in your entourage has been sick, make sure they stay home!

#2 Electric Blanket

Not to sound like a snob, but the chemo room blankets suck. I LOVE YOU TEXAS ONCOLOGY, but those blankets SUCK ASS. I'm talking 3 minutes max of warmth and the softness...well...was as soft as an 80s kotex (men please google) so I recommend an electric blanket. I got mine at JC Penny for $20 on sale. You can get one here , here, or here. It seems like they have gone up in price, so check out local Macy's and JCPenny sales, and always use a coupon. Mine was purchased in November, where they were plentiful. I always felt cold during chemo, but then again I was using Chemo Cold Caps. It gives you that sense of getting chemo in the middle of the frozen tundra haha; HOWEVER, when I would go in for fluids or just Herceptin I still used it...even during the summer months. 

#3 Chemo Cold Caps

Are you receiving the TCHP regimen for breast cancer? Taxotere, Carboplatin, Herceptin, Perjeta? If you are may I suggest this awesome company called Chemo Cold Caps. There are other companies out there....but I just cannot vouch for them because my experience was with Bill and Lizzy. One thing you will realize on your journey is that you are only going to want to fuck with associate yourself with other survivors and what THEY used. I honestly would have never bought into this if it weren't for Lizzy who WENT THROUGH cancer a year or so before I did. She was on the same regimen as me and had success so I figured IT'S WORTH A SHOT! They walk you through the process, are always available to answer questions, and will not leave you hanging! Is it expensive YES! Is it a pain in the ass YES! Are you cold...YES! Is it worth it..HELL YES! I will make a post about my Cold Cap experience by the end of the month (I swear), but I wish more women knew now what I didn't know then. Taxotere, when given in more than four infusions as part of a cocktail can cause permanent hair loss. It is happening to a larger percentage of women than anticipated and it happened to me. I developed alopecia and the ONLY reason I have boob length hair is because of the fact that I used Chemo Cold Caps. PLEASE LOOK INTO THEM! You'll freeze your ass off, but you'll be glad that you did. Tell them the Boob Chica sent you :) You can follow them on FaceBook and Instagram! (While you are at it, follow me on IG @The_Boob_Chica)

#4 Chemo Snacks

One of my few chemo cravings

One of the most important things that you will need to be sure of during chemo is that you stay hydrated. There is water and ice at the center, as well as snacks, but as you can probably tell I liked to be prepared. Whatever you do, DRINK during chemo (and I'm not talking sauce)!!! You will taste the chemo, at the beginning and at the end and you don't want to be putting up with that for hours on end!! Try drinking this, you can find it at Central Market, Whole Foods, or Market Street (for all my Texas gals). Helping keep the body more alkaline is essential to fighting cancer. Water with a drop of lemon essential oil will also do the trick, just remember to drink it out of a GLASS container! I always drank everything COLD COLD COLD, it'll help you with mouth sores and sore gums (which I still got, but not as bad after doing this). If you need something sweet try coconut water. If you are fortunate to get it straight from the source DO IT! If not this, this, or this kept me hydrated, especially in the days after. It's not the real thing, but I don't live in South Florida, and agua de coco is not a DFW commodity. I didn't feel like eating much, but gummy candy did make the time go by quicker and oh so much sweeter! Try something that is easy on your stomach, bland is better than spicy...trust me, I found that out the hard way! Don't forget about your chemo room friends! The chemo room can really suck, especially for those who have to battle alone :(. The room always seemed to perk up when there was food to share! The hubs even ordered cupcakes from Trailer Cakes, the best Dallas has to offer :) They really made people smile, and they even went so far as to decorate them with a pink ribbon :) Keep in mind that some doctors aren't a fan of raw items, deli meats, or soft cheeses. Avoid stuff that a pregnant woman would avoid...so my doc says.

#5 Entertainment 

If you are unable to bring the party to the chemo room, or your chemo buddy/entourage is busy for the day load up the phone with your favorite shows, music, books on tape, or NET FLIX (trust and believe you want to splurge on Netflix)! The iPad came in handy for my hubs (When he didn't want to hear about that one time I signed the ceiling at The Dizzy Rooster or puked all over 6th street for the millionth time lol), but it was a BLESSING during the World Cup (for us, not for the people around us hearing me yell during the Germany game). I found that after a round or two of chemo I struggled to read and retain what I was reading, but Gossip Magazines (People, Us Weekly, TMZ.com) kept me focused and entertained enough to keep reading, even when I got chemo brain and read the same page over and over again. It never gets old reading about the KarTrashians or the Real Housewives hot ass mess. 

#6 Go Comfy

There's a fine line between comfortable and downright trashy and inappropriate and while I walked the line for four and a half months it's something that is really important. DO NOT GO IN JEANS...they just aren't comfy :/. The best outfits were comfy socks, leggings, loose fitting yoga/sweat pants, lose fitting t shirts, and cardigans. These are things that every woman has in their closet. There is no need to break the bank over a new chemotherapy wardrobe. These essentials will help you out, especially after surgery (just add a couple of big button ups or zip up hoodies to the mix). Some of you will have surgery before chemo, please check out some of these items before you lob off a boob...or two. If you MUST shop, because you have cancer and you want the retail therapy the solid V neck tees from Nordstrom Rack and Target are some of my favs. They are CHEAP and comfortable. There are expensive options out there, but it's a damn v neck y'all, leave the Free People on the rack and put that money towards Cold Caps and lipstick! Same with sweats/leggings. Old Navy has some comfy cheap options, and JCPenny ROCKS with clearance tights. Start from the clearance rack first! 

#7 Big Ol' Bag

I was such a chemo bag lady it wasn't even funny! You can't show up with all of this stuff and NOT have a place to put it! Again, no need to buy anything new, but if you want something big enough Target has great over sized totes that are quite affordable. I used a Jon Hart bag that I already used for work and travel. It was perfect for all of my chemo needs, check out a cheaper alternative here  or here :) Also be sure to bring pens, a notebook to take notes, and a clipboard to put your current labs on (I liked to keep track), and a list of current medications. You also probably want to bring your makeup bag, toiletries, etc with you. It's chemo, not an excuse to look like a mess!

#8 Chick Stuff...ok Guys can get it too!

Let there be brows!

I cannot stress the importance of a good moisturizer and lip balm. IT IS ESSENTIAL. From the moment they start that drip those cells are going ka-put, not to mention infusion room air is dry and unforgiving. MOISTURIZE MOISTURIZE MOISTURIZE! From your eyes  to your feet, to your nails (that could fall off so ice them if your doctor thinks it necessary). My favorite heavy body creams are here and here. If you are super dry coconut oil it up first and then seal with a heavy body cream. Don't forget about the lippies, this stuff is THE TRUTH! It's pricey, but you will not use another lip product for a year and the other $3 stuff just does not work as well. Also be sure to switch your deodorant to something more natural. It will TAKE TIME for your body to adjust/find what works for you. This is my fav! When you go in for chemo, put a little make up on. ENJOY your lashes! Don't beat the face up like you were going to the bar, but do make yourself feel good. Look good and FIGHT PRETTY!

#9 Drugs...Rx! 

As in your nausea medication and your Claritin! Find out if you will be getting the Neulasta shot. If so PLEASE TAKE YOUR 24 HOUR CLARITIN IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING CHEMOTHERAPY FOR LIKE A WEEK. The bone pain is EXCRUCIATING! See my earlier blog posts where I talk about it...the shit is awful. I would also put on a Sancuso Nausea patch to help with diarrhea and nausea after treatment. I saw plenty of people putting their patches on during their infusions. You want to be prepared. You will most likely be given scripts for nausea meds and steroids, but not to worry, they push these through your port before chemo. OH SPEAKING OF PORT. Emla cream to numb before they stick you is a must, my place used the spray so I was good! You can get that script from any of your doctors.

#10 Emergency Necessities

Here it comes...that moment where I need to be real. So you never know what chemo will be like. You could walk in for infusion 2, have psycho blood work or an infection and be admitted to the hospital. PACK WHATEVER YOU MAY NEED! Even if it's an extra change of clothing, slippers, or extra toiletries and leave them in the car. I would never walk into chemo without my portable barf bags. My onc had a bunch which I would take because I was a puker. Also same rule applies if you have to go to the ER. I went to the ER for chest pain and was admitted for a blood clot and I didn't have my stuff!! I almost lost my shit when the doctor told me I couldn't go home to get my straightener. HAHAHA.  

**DISCLAIMER**

Every Onc (Oncologist) has their personal preference when it comes to their patients. My doctor was specific about some things so you may want to ask your medical team if they are ok with you using or consuming some of these products. 

I truly hope this helps with some of the "What do I need," questions. If you are curious about any other chemo needs or about what you need after your mastectomy comment below or email me :) 

xoxo,

The Boob Chica 

The Boobless Bitch is Back

And I'm here to stay (round of applause). Joo know joo miss me. So much to say, so I think I'll stay a while. It's been almost a year and well, a lot has happened. I have foobs....and fipples, a year of work under my belt post cancer, and well more hormones than the boys locker room at any local high school.

God Bless these knockers right hurrrrr. <----------

So here's the 411 on your favorite girl from the 214. I'm trying not to be long winded so like here's the Cliff Notes version of my life.

-Recovery after a pulmonary embolism was hard. I don't recommend getting one. Aside from the endless supply of popsicles, it just wasn't that much fun.
- Back to work post cancer, not as difficult as throwing up fire and shitting brimstone, but a close second, and by close I'm talking Olympic swimming 400 meter freestyle where erry'body touches the wall at the same damn time.
-Brick tit swap surgery aka Tissue Expanders vs. Silicon Gummy Gel goodness. Definitely the highlight of my cancer journey (did I just say that? Jee-Zeus I need therapy). Be sure to work out before hand....your welcome.
-Snarky ass bitches and the lack of fucks given after a first class trip to hell. Such a hard balance. There's a thin line between telling someone what you really think and wanting to stay gainfully employed.
-Dogs. A whole lot of fur on the carpet.
-Having to pull over on the way home from work to sleep....so tired.
-Water Retention, I think after almost two years of it I'm finally done. After a hard day I still sport the cankles, but it's not a daily struggle anymore thank God.
-Still NED (no evidence of disease). No one says remission anymore, get with the times.
-Stop asking me if I'm still cancer free, that shit is really dumb. Ask me how my day was or how I'm feeling.
-Happy Bday hubs! <3
-My LAST infusion! Bittersweet memories, that is all I'm taking with MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
-Fun times in Waikiki with the GUncles-that's Gay Uncles for all you that are lacking in the lingo
-You've Got NIPPLES/FIPPLES, and Bye Schaenna Felicia
-Xmas drama, I see you lying....you hatin'. Bon voyage siblings, no more fucks given.
-Chemotherapy induced alopecia of the brows and lashes. AKA chemo gave me alopecia AKA my brows and lashes will never grow back AKA sob
-Sleetpocalypse.
-Lower back degeneration
-Trying to lose the water weight
-Trying to lose the regular weight
-LOW LOW LOW Vitamin D
-Yay I'm 32
-I'm so tired, you don't even know!
-Chemo room for fluids
-stomach flu
-low ovarian reserve or Lupron? Only time will tell
-2nd wedding anniversary
-more fluids, having an oncologist in your life is a straight hookup to the IV when you are dehydrated. Kinda cool.
-Fake Christian people and the psychos that follow them. I will not be one of them since I worship of the Catholic Church of treat everyone with kindness and respect, especially breast cancer survivors.
-Brow Tattoo. WORST. PAIN. OF. MY. LIFE
-My friend died.....unexpectedly. That really sucked :(
-Can you ever just worry about yourself?
-Running, 5k, so hard, in Texas heat! Hubs started running too!
-AC Units died....holy financial drama Batman
-No more fakeness in my life
-Summa Summa Summa time!

So now that you are caught up here's what I hope to talk about or at least shed some light on. The AFTER. NO ONE ever really talks about the after. As in life after going through the cancer journey. Did you KNOW your life is NOT the same? No one really addresses that fact. It takes FOREVER to get back to a sense of normalcy and then you realize that you will never ever be "normal" again. That's a hard pill to swallow, and it takes some time to even realize that. You won't get your life back, something will always be different. You are different. Your relationships are different. Hell, you may be a completely different person. One thing is for sure, your tolerance for people's bull will be NIL. Don't say I didn't warn ya!

I'm hoping to come to you every Tuesday with some of my boobless insight. Looking forward to it.

XOXO,

                                                                    The Boob Chica