Why I wore club makeup to my first day of chemo...who does she think she IS!?

You know those chicks that have full face (in the Latin-pronounced La-en) community we call it beat. Damn first LINE I'm already dissing and digressing! Blame it on the Key key key key key key chemo!

It's about to go DOWN (Old pic, still gangsta)

Anyways, you know those girls at 8:30am in the Wal-mart/Trader Joe/Whole Foods/Central Market (full socio economic produce gamut right thurrr) check out line with full face makeup that have already been to boot camp? You know them because you've talked mad shit about them. I know I have...OMG who does she think she is and where does she think she is? It's bad enough that I'm paying for overpriced stinky cheeses because I'm stress eating and lean meats for this new psycho diet I want to try in 6 and a half days to lose the 2 pounds I put on stress eating and I already am running into some heffa looking like she's ready for a Friday/Saturday night at Saint Ann! (Holy run on Batman) BITCH! Mirrraaaaa 'pa 'eso, y tu donde 'sta?  Well, NOW I get it, she was totally coming/going to chemo. I'm such a hater. NO MORE JUDGING!

So I barely slept last night, my Ambien and Xanax has already seemed to stop working. I went from getting 7 ish hours a night to 6 to 5 to 4 to um....like NADA last night. Must have been the stress. It happens. So I was up at 12, then 2 then 4 then 5, then 6:15ish and finally decided it was war paint time. What is it about being married where you feel the need to wake your spouse up when YOU can't sleep? So wrong, must stop that! LOL

 Makeup, beat, whatever you want to call it is fine but it really needs to be called WAR PAINT, because isn't it? I mean aren't we women all fighting some type of battle? Some of us are fighting what society wants us to look like, so we put some paint where it ain't. Some of us are fighting the woman in the mirror, we don't like what we see. Some of us are fighting the tears, the more eyeliner, the less we cry. Some of us are just fighting to remain fabulous and just like the MAC we buy! See I got this, but when you have cancer you have such a lack of control. Chemo Cold Caps=less hair loss, but there is still hair loss. Mastectomy=loss of breasts and even with reconstruction there is still loss. God is in control, but yet....the loss we face comes in waves that we feel the need to control, but we can't. Picture being on the Texas Giant, before they refurbished it. It was rickety, it was ups and downs, it was down right painful. You want off, it's no longer fun, but you can't get off until the ride is done. This is carcinoma ladies and gents (Did you know men account for a small percentage of breast cancer cases?).

So I wore full face, MAC foundation, concealer, pencil eyeliner, paint pot (painterly) with coastal scents 44 or 88 or whatever it was pallet in metallic goldish, and MAC bright red for my waterline, and finished it off with a little dark brown smoke. The blush was real, the lips were fiyaaaa and I looked fabulous. Good enough to get a 15 dollar drink at Winston's by a man who is not my husband! LOL I had the bull by it's ass today, because you've got to keep your spirits up. When you look good, you feel good, and even though my body is starting to ache, the nausea is kicking in, and Scheana (I named my port a stripper name) is getting in my way and causing me some pain, I'm feeling good. I was the youngest today at chemo, all my chemo sisters told me to keep it positive, that's the only way to do it...and ladies there is a way to do it. SNAP SNAP SNAP!