And so it begins...at 30

Photo Cred Brad and Monica Photography

Beauty. Narcissism at it's FINEST! I figure that I've earned it. See beauty is a thing that goes unseen outwardly speaking yet seeps out from the soul, suppresses evil, and is truly dragged out of one by love of another (also known as my hubby), so if you don't mind, I'm keeping that moniker <insert diva hair flip here>

Enough about my gone with the WIND fabulousness....twirl

I found a lump in my right boob 4 days shy of our 6 month wedding anniversary. I'm really bad at anniversaries, I only remember it because it was Javi's birthday weekend. When you are a 34F (all natural bitches, don't hate) you don't do self breast exams, you have relations and down right accost your chi chi's...as in squeezing them like a masochist into bras, tops, and dresses. With the constant sucking in, clutching, taping, and barely breathing I've gotten to know Bill and Ted on a personal level...I mean we're friggin related. So as I felt myself up in the shower that morning, I knew something was up. I awoke the hubby, annoyed, thinking I was a psycho, but after some forced foreplay (which he really didn't enjoy lol) he felt it to.

ENTER freak out

Go to work....KYM feel my boob, Alyson feel my boob....they felt it. Call the Dr urgently "SOCCCCOOOORRROOOOOOO" I felt a lump, yes I am two weeks out from my period....oh you mean that's normal? Call back after my cycle...ok. Phew, I over reacted, I tend to do that! Two weeks later, still a lump, call him, can you come in on Tuesday, HELL TO THE YES! I'm here. Ahhhhh Dr. Monier, so calm, so cute, and yes I will show you where the lump is. He feels it, like a peanut or small grape (depending on whether you like those genetically altered mega grapes or not. So me, like a psycho, ask him to aspirate that mofo. I'm a doctors dream, he obliged...nothing came out. SHIT. I thought SHIT SHIT SHIT. He says "no worries that doesn't mean anything, could be fatty." He refers me to radiology. Ugh do you realize you just called me fat? He laughs...got humor for days!

Enter Solis Mammography, super nice ladies! Just went for an ultrasound aspirated blah blah blah except for, that MOFO WAS SOLID. Ugh damn, kept getting worse! Got a mammo, some squeezing, but nothing I haven't experienced after a night of a lot of crown and seven if ya know what I mean! Then I see it, that grape/peanut staring at me in the face as my radiologist says I'm going to need a core biopsy to rule out cancer. UGGGGHHHHHHH for real? I've already canceled like two Tuesday afternoon tutoring and now this!? I walked out, lied to my mom that things were fine and went home to talk to my hubby about what was REALLY going on.

Back two days later for a core biopsy.....needle through the peanut, ouch, snip, click, snip, click, marker left, y ya! Instant melt down.....INSTANT! Not in the office (of course, mama didn't raise no sissy), but when I got home it was awful! It wasn't right how I could only have Tylenol and PS stress lead to my period coming SUPER SUPER EARLY.

So....it's cancer. Yes. Cancer. No I'm not getting into specifics, but chemo is necessary and due to my dense breast tissue (which I will get into at a later event) I'm going big with a double mastectomy (which I will also talk about at a later date).

To my friends, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't call, I'm sorry I didn't text, but life has been...scary. Thank God for faith, it lessens my fear. The purpose of this blog is one thing and one thing only.

GET TESTED EARLY. Yes, I was only suppose to go starting at age 35, even with a strong family history..but you know what THAT'S THAT BULLSHIT! If you want a mammo, go get it! If you don't feel your boobs, FEEL THEM! Early detection is key so squish those bad boys!

Peace and empanada grease and feel those boobs!