Ice Ice Baby

Ice Storm '13

Well, guess all the newscasters were correct. Javi and I are iced in two days after chemo. LUCKY HIM! Holy barf bucket Batman, I feel like shit. 48 hours after chemo is to me, when things start to get REAL. As in REAL bad. The nausea is awful and no drug can really control it, the Neulasta pain is excruciating. Everything from jaw, to pelvis, to back pain. It's really hard to explain, but think one of those bone stretching Medieval torture machines. That's what being on Neulasta is like. No amount of hydro/benedryl/claritin/whatever can possibly help with this. UGH! Today I was in and out of consciousness, awoken by pain in my bones and nausea, and of course Javi...trying to coax me to eat something. 

Want to know what's such bull? Ok so I have these two cancer cookbooks in which they talk about the importance of eating right after chemo. I really wonder if these authors went through chemo their damn self because eating or drinking ANYTHING is extremely difficult right now. Ginger cubes? That sounds like some bullshit to me. Water hurts my mouth, so naturally I think these authors are just lying to sell books to poor unsuspecting bitches such as myself. NO WAY I could eat anything right now. I got through some soup, but even that was a stretch. By through I mean, two BITES! I've been HAD!

I wrote that like two days ago....let's just say, it's been a rough week after chemo. I have felt SO BAD! The C in TCH has really kicking my motherfuckin' ass....HARD! I remember telling some friends that going through chemo is like the mother of all hangovers, and by mother, I mean motherFUCKA'! I looked at myself in the mirror, good grief, I look sick. Hair of the dog doesn't even begin to describe what I need right now. I need hair, makeup, skin, lashes all of the dog, I mean shit...I NEED HELP! My appearance is seriously suffering! CORRIE/HOLLY/ERICA/SHAY  HELP A BITCH OUT PLEASE! I know I'm not the only Dallas-ite who is on a first name/text basis with her glam squad, but damn I wish I had the energy to do something besides puke, shit, and eat two spoonfuls of some nasty ass soup. I mean it's a sad sad day when your husband has to try to talk you into chocolate cake. Like really, this has been the longest chocolate cake has even survived in our house. Go buy your favorite foods they said, you'll have a taste for them they said....THEY LIED. The thought of eating anything has me just disgusted! 

Steroids, I'm officially back in a relationship with you bitches, because without them I wouldn't have the energy to put one foot in front of the other. Wait a second....FUCK THAT because I still don't! What exactly have you done for me lately roids....aside from made me fatter than a Lifetime weight loss movie! I mean I've lost....but the bloat is so real right now. 

So since America is all about comparing, my second infusion has been

-worse

-worser

-worsest 

than my first. Diarrhea-the same, Nausea-worse, Vomiting- A HELL OF A LOT WORSE, Bum rash-a hell of a lot better thanks to A's miracle cream (LOL), Fatigue-worse, burning-the same, mouth-better (because I've prepared for it), but the bleeding is a lot worse. I taste blood in my mouth all the time, my lips are better, have burned but been manageable. 

Here's a note I found from my husband:

I LOVE MY WIVI! I LOVE MY WIVI SO MUCH! SHE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME AND I DON'T THINK SHE'LL EVER TRULY KNOW THE DEPTHS TO WHICH I LOVE HER! I AM TRULY BLESSED TO HAVE HER BY MY SIDE AND THANK THE LORD EVERYDAY FOR BRINGING US TOGETHER! WE ARE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER, AND I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT WHEN WE MAKE IT THROUGH THIS, THE REST WILL BE A BREEEEEZE! LET'S KICK CANCER'S ASS, REMEMBER....TEAM BRING IT! <3

Awwww, my husband wrote that. Thank God I married him when I did, because I would be screwed without my Wubby! Gotta end on a positive! LOL