Girl Talk and Dirty Laundry

Big UPS to Beth DV for the soup n' swag!
Vegan brownies rock my socks off!

But first, your daily cancer report. For all my people going through chemo some MUST HAVES include:

1. Baking soda/dilute mouth wash rinse several times a day.
2. HEAVY moisturizer for the face, I'm using Eminence Guava, it's super heavy. Moisturize often. My face is flake city! I'm looking into face oils from Sephora tomorrow.
3. Body butter, put one in every room and slather it on every hour on the hour...everywhere...and I mean everywhere. You will be dry!
4. Lip moisturizer. A lot. Put it in your nightstand, in your car, and your kitchen table. The corners of your lips are important. Your lips may burn, be prepared. MINE SCALDED! Do not pick at it either it makes it worse!
5. Coconut water and my ginger lemon water. Hydrate hydrate hydrate.
6. A friend named Beth to make you vegan brownies, teehee. Kym provides great entertainment too!

Gone with the WIND fabulous! TWIRL

7. Vitamin E cream/oil for your port scar, because that shit is ugly! Just because you have cancer doesn't mean you should accept the fact that you may scar!
8. Beer, for your husband lol :)
9. Desitin and baby wipes...use your imagination...also Vaseline works as well....for both ends
10. Really bad TV...because life could always be worse! You could have just found out that the man you've been with for YEARS just married some skank a few months ago!
11. Stay in front of the nausea/anxiety/pain and medicate medicate medicate.

Medicate now and worry about going to rehab later, that is totally my motto! Use responsibly, but DO USE. If you wait till the pain/nausea/pukes/whateva to kick in to take somthing it'll be TOO LATE!

12. Tights. Because everyone needs pants that are easy access and comfy. Also, don't wear underwear...what's the point? Gotta keep the nether regions as cool as possible, as dry as possible, and as airy as possible!

He can grill, but can he cook? Time will tell!

Sleeping meds are a must, along with anxiety pills. I totes missed a dosage today, so I was on edge all day long and there were casualties. This is war after all.  Even though the nausea meds make me tired for some reason I have issues getting comfortable at night (I take a nausea med in the morning, afternoon, and at night).  I think I'm having post traumatic stress from all the run ins with my toilet last week. LOL. I'm averaging about 6 hours, last night I went to bed past midnight because I couldn't get comfy (was also talking to myself), and I woke up around 8ish, I groggy, but I was up. I'm feeling nausea and fatigued today. Major fatigue. Going up and down the stairs poses a problem, but I've got to get over it because Thanksgiving is coming bitches! The turkey is defrosting and the ham is ready for cloves and a blow torch. Tomorrow morning I have to make brine, shop for groceries (that mom was suppose to help me do on Saturday, but she's not reliable....BIG SURPRISE THERE), and clean the downstairs.

Don't you hate when people tell you what to eat? OMG if you eat this you will feel so much better! Um no idiot, it's either going to get puked up or get shit up, but whichever end it's going to come out, it's going to come out for a vengeance! WOOOHOOOO 3 DAYS WITH NO PUKE! I think it's the acorn squash soup which is SOOOOOO YUMMY!

Like this, only my hair ain't WHITE! LOL

Today my hair started coming out, thankfully not from my head but from my kitty. Sigh, I have gotten Brazilian waxes for the last almost 4 years and now it's coming out for free 99. Every month I'd go see my girl and she's make me into a baby again both on my face and on my *ahem*. I felt freaked out to see it just come out, as if I was shedding like my Akita. I feel...nervous. I'm so anxious about my head...it sounds silly I know but I'm super scared and freaked out. Xanax is a must, no more going without because I'm going to need that shit to get me through the family/inlaws during the holidays. LOL

Javi's cooking dinner right now...it's so cute because you would think he was making fillet mignon lol,
but for all the women out there who do the majority of the cooking, hamburger helper is fillet mignon.....ok so no it's not. That's like saying grape juice is wine and it most certainly is NOT. Speaking of wine, I totally felt myself gulping more of the blood of Christ than usual on Sunday. Is it just coincidence or an absence of the sauce from my life causing me to OD on Jesus? I WILL NEVA' TELL!

Bitches drive me to drink. Now that's a lie,
I drive myself! NOM NOM NOM I miss
margarita Mondays :(

I'd like to get some thing off my chest...while I still have a chest to get things off of (rim shot!). I realize that my family and in laws may read this. I realize that you may be pissed, but I need you to know that it's not about you. You should be more supportive, but you're not. How quick have people (both friends and family) turned my situation into their situation. It's funny when someone tells you how bad they feel. It's straight up comical. Do you realize how foolish you sound, telling the person going through chemo how bad you feel?

 NEW RULE

 You don't get to tell me that....or my husband that. I can hear family/inlaws now...I can't believe you didn't tell us! WHY. Because you have been so supportive? Of Javi? Of me? Did you think I could trust you to help me pick out wigs? Or listen to me pouring out my soul when you've been so busy making things about you? I wish when my dad heard I had cancer he came back for my first chemo treatment instead of picking up my moms new Mercedes SUV from Florida. I wish he would call me to see how I'm doing. I wish my mom was on time to things...like my Mass for starters. I wish I meant more to you than showing up late when you live 5 minutes away. She felt bad she said, she was soooooooo sick she said. She thought she was going to have to go to the hospital she said. It's always like a competition, who feels worse. Well guess what, my hair is falling out, I've been burned from the inside out, it bleeds when I use the restroom or even brush my teeth. I WIN. You don't get to tell me what are my babies going to drink because I'm having both boobs cut off, you sound insensitive. As bad as what you're saying to me is, I know that my MIL and sisters would be worse, so you're off the hook there. I can't wait to start fielding questions from that side about why we are waiting to have kids...

How bout them mutha' fuckin' Cowboys!
A year ago we spent Thanksgiving with them
and Crown Royal. 

People also need to get off my husband, because I besides all of this he did lose his dad in March of this year unexpectedly right before we got married. I do realize some people think that it was more difficult
for them than him, but it's not. Work has been so difficult for him (merger/acquisition difficult), then staying up all night with me has been bad. I swear he wakes up through the night just to make sure I'm ok and not puking or hacking, or moaning in pain, he's so used to me not being ok. I feel bad because in T minus 8 days, he's got to go back to cleaning my puke...among other things. LOL I always told him I'd get him back for the drunken nights of having to pull over while on the highway to let him puke all over Highland Park...but didn't think it would be like this. If he doesn't answer the phone, or text you back, or acknowledge your presence, you need to get over that shit. You sound like a pussy. And like my older brotha' from anotha' mutha' Goldie says "ain't nobody got time for that!" The last thing he wants to do when he gets home is talk to anyone, cut him some slack. If you diss him I will cut your fucking head off...I'm that psycho of a wife.

So now that I've aired some of my laundry (is it dirty if it's true) what should you do with that? Well...be supportive. MORE supportive. Realize that it's not happening to you, it's happening to us. My family is of four. My dogs. My husband. Not you my parents, siblings, and friends. This isn't happening to you directly. If you are not going to be 100% supportive, here for the ride, then you just shouldn't be here. We don't need the kind of support where you are there one second and then gone the next...to the point where you don't even call of text. I'm sorry that my situation isnt' convenient to you, but the in and out is very hurtful. That's not ok. I have friends that text me every day from sun up to sun down and more than they know it, it helps me out. I like when they ambush me in my house, it forces me to be more positive and to keep things semi clean lol. I get cards from strangers, how cool is that. Ladies that don't even know me are cheering for me, praying for me. I like that, it's necessary, and it shows that you really give a damn. One thing that you don't see in the commercials (with the women holding hands and singing) is the people who turn their back on you when you need them the most. It happens when you have cancer, and it's a damn shame.

"If a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do.  Think up something appropriate and do it."