Wrecking Ball

My nurse last night

Sweet Sassy Molassy do I have a lot to say. First, I feel like shit. Second, I feel like shit. I went to the oncologist yesterday for a checkup and my exact words were "Dude,  I didn't think it would be this bad." I hobbled in that motherfucker. LIKE HOBBLED IN! The receptionist (who also has cancer) was like uh oh, one of those days huh? Bitch YES! It's actually been one of those weeks.  She was nice enough to get me a much more posh barf bag contraption in case the proverbial shit hit the fan in the waiting room. Thank GOD no other patients were there yet! So for the last two nights all hell has broken loose. Poor Javi was up with me practically all Tuesday night. I honestly didn't think I had anything else to give the porcelain Gods, when in doubt, YOU DO HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO GIVE. He was so tired the next morning he thought he dreamt/sleep walked the whole thing. Haha, no boo, this nightmare is real you  did see your new wife pull an exorcist reenactment in the bathroom!

All you chicks singing Miley's Wrecking Ball in your car, you have no idea. Chemo is the mother of all wrecking balls, and it burns you from the inside out. I think that I could recover from an Anderson Silva knockout, better/faster than this. So now, to yesterday.

So aside from the regurgitation and shit (from grad school language to the streets, sigh), my blood work looked good! The tumor has lost some of it's size, it feels flatter, and has been harder to find. It started out 2cm and she's aiming to have it GONE before surgery. Before I literally could feel it without looking so to speak, yesterday the doctor had to go searching for it. All this craziness has been worth it! My next infustion is in two weeks and they are going to add another chemo to the list, so I'll be taking 4 meds instead of 3. Last chemo infusion day is 2/13/14. Happy day before Valentine's Day to me!

MEH!

So I was prescribed 3 nausea medications, one of which that starts with an O that came with a huge disclaimer *Will Cause Headaches.* Ummm BYE FELICIA. I get really bad migraines as it is, and didn't want to add that to the mix. Well turns out that's what I had during my first chemo infusion so I took the leap and felt so much better. I was even able to sleep a little in the afternoon. My sister came over and we tried on wigs, talked to some shit, then went to Whole Foods and Trader Joes to get some essentials. I dropped her off at my psycho ass parents house, then came home to Javi who had been wondering where I was at! Still felt great! Took three bites of Chipotle, still felt great. Watched Preachers of LA (idiotic show), took my meds, went to sleep.

Then it got real in the San P master bedroom around 4am. LAWD! Javi called from the bedroom and all I could think was, poor guy, another night of not enough sleep? NO WAY! So I told him all was good. Hunter (our 4 year old Akita)  followed me into the bathroom and I figured I'd be ok that if things got bad and I like passed out or something he'd go get Javier. So I basically threw up everything I ate in the last 72 hours that I didn't evacuated out the hole! It was bad! You know when you basically have to submit to the sphincter muscles that send that crap north and just realize that you have to brace yourself because it's coming and you have to keep yourself up as long as it lasts. It lasted a damn while. After I was done I just sat down and laid my head against the wall...I do the same thing when I'm hungover! Sigh, when I USED to be hungover. I MISS YOU WINE! Another blah night! NOOOOOO!

So I was able to get a little more sleep, then move myself from the bed to the couch. Clinging to it for dear life, drinking my ginger water to stay hydrated, and um, you know....MEH! I wanted to go grocery shopping for Thanksgiving today....NOT going to happen. Tomorrow will be a better day, IT WILL! Until then, hopefully no more vomit rain! I'm cautiously optimistic.

Update:

Things that make me vomit: errythang
Things that give me diahrrea: errythang
Mouth: less sore, taste is back
Lips: less chapped
Stomach: a hot ass mess
Hair: Still on my head, and everywhere else for that matter
Feeling: really fatigued, but still gangsta!

Oh chemo "All you ever did was, wreck me" but that's the way it goes. Peace and peace!