Procrastination Professional

LAWD. I have so much to do and I can't stop puking! I need 48 hours of uninterrupted chemo side effects so that I can get my mastectomy pack on. Why am I stil getting side effects, I'm three weeks out. This is bull, BULL.

Things I need

1. Sweat pants
2. Camis
3. Zip up/button up tops
4. Mastectomy Bra
5. Mastectomy Cami
6. Wedge pillow

Two days to get it done. I want to pack on Sunday (did you read that babe) because Monday I have a marking appointment with my plastic surgeon, radioactive boob shot at the hospital, and my first diet chemo. That's a lot!

So something I want to address a few things here, because I know you're ass is curious.

1. I've put on a chingon of water weight. Hopefully I'll pee it out in the next month and lose 15-20 pounds by April 25th. That's my goal and I'm sticking to it! I'll be juicing post surgery so watch out for recipes and pictures. NOM NOM NOM ahem I mean SLURP SLURP SLURP

2. I want to be back to my size 6's by then.

3. April 7th I want to start walking. Hopefully by then I can walk at least an hour without stopping. Couch to 5k will hopefully resume by May 1st. Starting at Week 1 Day 1.

4. T25 will start as soon as I regain full range of motion in my arms which will hopefully be by May.
That's my diet/exercise plan to get my sexy on. I will not do weight training until after my reconstruction because I'm going to need fat so cardio is my focus.

5. My vitamin regimen (hair vitamins, RAW multivitamin, alkaline water) starts after I get out of the hospital, along with my Latisse.

I fully expect to be tired for a while. Just because you have surgery and go through chemo doesn't mean you go back to "normal." I will be fatigued. How long? I'm anticipating a year at a minimum. Hopefully I'll start feeling better in six months, but it's truly hard to say. My body has been battling cancer Since November. I saw myself go from, "shit this ain't bad," to "Lord come and HELP ME I can't do nothin'." Truth is, I didn't think it would be this bad. I can't bend, I can barely walk. Water retention has made physical activity very difficult...here I though puking was the worst side effect. Hell no Felicia that water is no joke!

With that being said zZzzzZzzzz

Bye Felicia

Sometimes it be like...DAMN

OK, so remember when facebook was THE FACEBOOK? When only tier 1 university students could join? Well there was a group called Sometimes it be like....DAMN.

Round 6 of chemo. Sometimes it be like...DAMN

Lord oh Lord this shit SUCKS!!

Puke

Shit

More Puke

Oh and of course all my lashes on my left eye...GONE! Well that's not true...I have two. I look like Plankton from Sponge Bob Square Pants.

So things have been shity! Ugh! And I'm suppose to be getting my tits chopped off in 10 days. 10 DAYS! That's like soon right? I could be freaking out and hugging the girls but honestly, I'm too worn out from puking, shitting, and puking again. The fun thing about being so close to surgery is....drum roll...

No pot smoking (hence all the vomit), no pain meds, no vitamins or other things that may help bolster you up. It's like doing chemo cold turkey hahahaha, THIS SHIT SUCKS.

I walked the dogs today, I made it five houses down before I wanted to throw myself on the mercy of the concrete floor. So dramatic. I turned my chemo ass around, ain't nobody got time for that! I'm hoping to make it to the street lamp tomorrow, that's a whopping 8 houses down. Pray for me that I can do it. I need to start being more mobile, I'm tired of this cancer patient shit!