Don't Say You Are my Friend... ACT LIKE ONE

Bitch where have you been!?

So many of you have been wondering what I have been up to. "Girl what's up we haven't seen you at work, blah blah blah." Well, it's a complicated process really.

Think of it as the paparazzi, except it's doctors calling you to see if you can come in so that they can get a piece of you (literally) for appointments, blood tests, scans, counseling, feeling you up....like now. It's a very "fuck yo job" mentality bitch, we need you to come in like now. You know when you are scheduling your annual gyno or dental appointments and some busty blond asks "Does 3:15 on the 7th work well for you?" Well when it's C of the titty they are like we will see your bitch ass in two hours and I hope you haven't eaten anything. I had something scheduled every day this week, starting from D day this past Monday (diagnosis day) where I left work early and was immediately seen/scheduled by the breast team. I got to fill out paperwork early and errythang. The positive is that people have been friendly, which has helped. Also please understand that I am exhausted, not sleeping well, and oh yeah, mentally preparing for battle so I don't have a whole lot of energy for half days or even putting in two hours and running out to the doctor to get the equivalent of an emotional beat down.

Sigh, my boobs look great here

Now everyone thinks they know how they would respond but the fact is you don't. Most important, fighting for my life and getting healthy again through the help of God, my faith, my doctors, and my husband. Number two is looking as fabulous as possible while fighting for my life and getting healthy again. Seriously. Don't laugh. I still want to be me! This is Dallas, and when you are a Cuban living in Dallas you have a certain look to maintain. Double mastectomy or not, chemo or not, I need to remain a diva. Yes burn the hell out of my insides and mutilate my body, but don't expect me to give up my lashes, my nails, my hair, my Eminence skin care line, or my MAC boo! Sigh, some of the losses will be inevitable, but one thing I want people to understand is how I feel on the outside will help me feel better on the inside, while I'm frying like bacon and kicking some serious ass. My boobs don't make me me, neither does my hair, but I'll admit...it helps.

Not everyone knows my situation, it's a need to know. If I haven't told you, then you don't fucking need to know! You have this link to my blog because I love you. Most Family don't have it, "friends" don't have it, but you do and that is not by accident. See, I realized through wedding planning that I have some bad ass friends, family, and an AWESOME MAN. People drove hours to host a shower, my parents and uncle forked over chingos of cash, people listened for hours while I cried on the phone, coworkers made me laugh through the drama, my church team that prayed for me, but those who should have been there for me were not...and that's FINE! DIVA SNAP and a middle finger to you! I get that you thought that it was about you,  who you could invite, and I get that you will try to act as if my situation is a chance for you to come in and "fake" be sad and "fake" be there for me and my hubby, but I see you boo, and I don't need it or you. All support ain't good support.

 Thank you all for asking me what can you do for me, unfortunately, not much right now but pray, especially to St. Agatha and St. Peregrine (big ups to my fellow Catholics), God works just as well too haha.

Well, that's more background on me and my stance on things. Thank you for not just saying you are my friend, but truly acting like a friend. I appreciate that so much. Chemo should start next week with surgery coming in about a month or so. Tomorrow I'd like to talk to you about my decision for a double mastectomy so that you understand what that is and why I've decided already to make that step at age 30. Thanks for helping me keep the faith! Feel the boobies daily! That goes for you men too, you aren't immune!