Tits for Days

I've had a love hate relationship with my tits breasts since el peo de Atanacio. For all you folk who are not reppin' the isla, that's a long time. I went through puberty early, with my menses making it's debut at about 10 years of age. Yes it sucked. I was the first defender on my soccer team with a bra, the first 50 m fly sprinter on my swim team that HATED wearing a competition suit because the fellas were more than apparent, but most importantly I was rocking at least a B cup by my 5th grade graduation. MEH! That was the start of my tits for days.

For all you flat chested chicas you really can't relate to someone who literally has (and will always be) a member of the big titty committee. The struggle to find the right bra, and NO Victorias Secret didn't have NOTHIN' for me. The back pain, the going up in a dress size/shirt size then having to figure out what to do with the shirt/dress fitting everywhere else. It's always been a complete nightmare. With large breasts comes great responsibility...hahaha that's probably the stupidest thing I've ever said....or is it? Who am I kidding? These bad boys have gotten me dates, free dinners, countless drinks (and not those cheap wells drinks, I'm talking $15 top shelf martinis), and my fair share of attention. But I digress....back to big breasts=great responsibility...

My boobs looking RIGHT on my wedding day!

Studies have shown that women with larger breasts have denser breast tissue. Now, this doesn't mean that if you are rockin' A's that you don't have dense breast tissue, it also doesn't necessarily mean that if you are rockin' F's like me that you do. HOWEVER, if you have dense breasts (as I do) it is much harder to detect your cancer than those that do not have dense breasts. Size at times is an indicator, but not ALL the time.

 **DISCLAIMER** I am not a medical professional, I'm simply reiterating what was articulated to me by DFW's finest breast cancer team. Don't jump up my ass because what you read in some pastel doctors office contradicts what I just said, in fact, don't ever jump up my ass for anything I say! Disclaimer over.

My lump was palpable, so I knew something was there. Went for the mammo and immediately after I saw that something was there for real for real and not for fake, but the CRAZIEST thing of all was that even though my 2cm tumor showed from side shots of both my mammogram and PET scan mammogram from the top view showed NOTHING but dense breast tissue. Now ain't that some shit?! If there had been no lump, it would have most likely never shown up on a scan. Now all of this talk of lump, and 2cm, and what not is in reference to my right breast. Absolutely positively nothing has shown up in my left; however, science isn't what it needs to be and because of my dense breast tissue it doesn't mean that there isn't anything there. Even with mammos/PET scans every six months there is NO GUARANTEE that they would be able to catch cancer if it were to develop in my left. Dense breast tissue is a mofo which is why I am opting for the double mastectomy with reconstruction. OMG Boob Chica what about your future babies, aren't you going to breast feed? Well apparently no I'm fucking not, and as creeped out as milk banks make me and as much as I think the formula people rip off women it is what it is. OMG Boob Chica aren't you too young to mutilate your body? Um yes and no. See I don't look at it as mutilation, I look at it as a life saving procedure that comes with an upgrade :) and if girls get tits for their 18th birthday then I can get them for my damn 30-ish! Also, unless you are in my shoes you don't get a vote. Notice it's always the people who aren't walking in your Coach flats that always want to offer their Dollar Tree advice? So annoying. It comes from a good place, I get you mom, dad, and uncle, but I just disagree...and Dollar Tree was a bit harsh!

So important questions/topics for your next annual should be:
1. Discuss family history
2. Discuss genetic testing (testing negative means nada, so don't go off of that only 1 in 10 of those with breast cancer test positive)
3. Ask your doctor if you have dense breasts and if the answer is a potential yes start your screenings early!

Also if a lump shows up regardless of whatever time of the month it is just go in and get it checked by a radiologist IMMEDIATELY!