That's That Bull

I haven't taken any pictures of my sick ass
so you'll have to settle for my dogs! Man
up Hunter and tell Tika to step off! LOL

Why oh why did I need to get sick right before chemo? And of all things.....guess what I have....guess what I HAVE?

Diahrrea.

WHAT THE FUCK

WHY?

Ok if I'm going to have all of this stuff coming out of me I need to see it coming off of my thighs and my abdominal area like now because this is bullshit. No this is boob chica's shit! Haha SO GROSS RIGHT? What is even more disgusting is the gross injustice going on with my weight as a result of all of this! Why am I not size 4? Like seriously I have like an internal laxative chemo/bitches be getting sick situation going on right now, I thought laxatives were suppose to help you lose weight, so like why am I not bikini ready right now? I'm totes making a lemon drop martini out of my situation but really throw me a bone dammnit! Ugh. Anyways. So I'm getting over the sickness, but for some reason have the worst stomach ache eva! What have I eaten in the last 72 hours....practically nothing! Plus I've thrown up, plus I have the lower intestinal situation going on. I should be almost at my goal weight by now and I'm not... this is cray! Very disappointed in you cancer, you fucked me for the last time! Well...hopefully!

I think I should take my penis cup to chemo and drink out
of it while the burn me up! I think I deserve another
bachelorette party!

Big ups to my chemo buddies tomorrow: Angelique and Robert! Thank you two so much in advance for giving Javi the day off! With the crazy weather headed this way he needs to get everything ready and I'm sure could use a break from my crazy ass (not really, but yes really). Real friends, God love 'em! I know I do :)

So I joined this website MyBCTeam. It's like Facebook except everyone has breast cancer and they talk about shit like whether not you tested positive for the mutation, what type of chemo your getting, and tips to help combat pain from your Neulasta shot. For anyone out there that finds themself in the same shit storm as me, I highly recommend it.  It's like the pink ribbon commercials with the hand holding. Very kum-ba-ya. LOL it's honestly been helpful, they have great ideas and I've found quite a few girls on there that went through this at my age and now have kids so...holllaaa! Speaking of kids guess who got their period...all over her newly covered dining room chairs? ME! Happy Thanksgiving to me....UGH. I thought I peed on myself...I wish! Just a mini three day and it was gone.

Can't wait to trash talk! My brotha
from anotha mutha!

Anyways, you put in your stats, what stage, what type, and it like shows you girls from all over that have the same type as you lol. You then add friends (add them to your team). Super cute, yay for the hand holding and the singing. What's neat is that years after these women have gone through their ordeal they still come back and offer kind words to the cancer newbies and tell us to calm the hell down and be hopeful.  The cool thing is, they have earned the right to tell you not to freak out, they aren't some random chicks from the block who's mama's sisters cousins boyfriends ex girlfriend had cancer. They actually lived it.  They are quite curious about my chemo cold caps and the fact that I still have my hair. I'm still surprised that I have my hair. OMG are y'all over my hair? I talk so much about it and I know you all think it's silly but boobs can be replaced, hair cannot. Even a really good weave still cannot replace your hair. You can RUN AND TELL THAT!!

So I'm thinking of throwing a boob party. Yes, a farewell to my tits party. They have brought many comfort and joy throughout the years, and they are gone with the wind fabulous. I'll keep you all posted. It would have to be after chemo of course and I totally want the same baker that we used at our wedding! I'm thinking some boobs in a bra as a cake! Super cute no? Stay tuned, I'm thinking formal invites and errythang!

One of the best priests eva! Father Rudy! Javi dumped the
holy water all over the place...like a BOSS!

 I'm sipping on this matcha green tea (that's perhaps the most yuppy thing I've ever said). Nom nom nom. You become quite granola after cancer. I won't go completely granola, but I have to do better. Just a stones throw away from getting real in the Whole Foods parking lot! LOL. Anyway, go get you some, it's really good, all natural. You know it's all natural when there's some weird stuff floating in it and they charge you literally by the bag o tea... just saying.

I tested negative for the gene, which means nothing really. I'm sure that further genetic testing will show that I do in fact carry a mutation, seeing that I'm a third generation future breast cancer survivor. BRACA 1 and 2 are just two they identified there's a gagillion others! People seem to be like "phew, I'm not a carrier," um so like yeah that doesn't really mean anything....(points to boobs) obviously! Long of the short I think you should know, so that you could be like Angelina Jolie and cut those bad boys off if in fact you do test positive.  People will talk about how courageous you are! OMG so courageous! You cut your tits off! That makes no damn sense to me. That woman did not have to sit through one infusion, one PET scan, one Core Need Biopsy, one port surgery...oh Boob Chica your just hating...well fuck yes I am. She wasn't courageous she was a pussy, she opted out before shit got real. I wish I would have gotten the chance to do that, but here I am in the realness! Trust, I'm just hating...she's not a pussy...just a woman with GWOP and a whole mess of international children! She also needs to eat something....anyways

I can tell by the cup of matcha tea that my time is up! I apologize in advance for any horrendous spelling and or gramatical errors...I don't proofread! Big ups to my fans! CHEMO TOMORROW! THANK YOU DALLAS!