Hot DAMN!

It's been a muthafuckin' minute. Ok so let's dive right in with no interuptions....mmmmmkkkkaaaayyyy.

After Chemo #4 which was January 17th I suffered a completely awesome complication from chemo. Namely from being pumped to the brim with Taxotere, a drug that causes swelling and water retention. So a few days after chemo I started blowing up like a balloon. How is this happening? I'm barely eating? Why do I have a gut and double chin? More importantly why is my husband lying like I haven't put on weight. Puke puke puke shit shit shit fatigue fatigue fatigue. I was swelling so much I was having some serious trouble walking. I barely could get up and down the stairs. I was out of breath just getting out of the tub. The joint paint was unreal, especially in my shoulder, ankles, knees, and jaw. I was basically a hot ass fucking mess. So I'm thinking whateves, chalk it up to the game that is chemo and cancer and I'll just tell my doctor when I have my next chemo.

I waddle into the office the morning of Feb 4th (I think) ready to be pumped with my poison cocktail. Dr. Le looks at me like holy shit bitch, yo ass is so fat. I basically had gained 15 pounds in 3 weeks! And my LYING ASS HUSBAND didn't tell me! LOL She put me on lasix...immediately. Hollaaaaa. Diet pills bitches, these are diet pills! Not really, they make you release water and boy did they ever. I lost it all in 6 days...WHAT WHAT. I'm going to go ahead and keep this bottle for when the summa' get here! Unfortunately my blood work looked like ass so I needed more steroids and fluids pumped through my port. I always get scared when I go in for a check up and need fluids, that basically means your ass is one step away from being admitted to the hospital.

So chemo number 5 sucked. I'm basically averaging about a 5 hour drip time, and after I feel like I've been hit by a bus. Remember the good ol days where the bus wouldn't hit till 36-48 hours later? Well, now I'm not so lucky, the bus hits my fat ass on the way to the parking lot after chemo.

Don't mind the partial nakedness chec
k out my hurrrr

Brows: GONE
Hair on head: Still there for the most part...holllaaaa
Ankles: Swollen like a muthafucka'
Skin: dry dry dry and needing Jesus to come from on high and give me that living water!
Lashes: Bottom lashes are mostly gone, I've got a few stragglers hanging on for dear life. Top is still banging, but major major gaps.
Chin: hahahaha chin hair, CHEMO FINALLY GOT YO ASS!

My skin has burns from the bottom of my feet to my face. That is just GREAT. It looks like skin after you just touched your hand to the oven when it's on 425. It blisters, scabs, and basically just chills until my next chemo where it comes back there and in a new spot.

A huge shout out to my friend Maria who brought me a box of fruit and veggies. Perfect timing because I finally got a vitamix to help juice. I like my bullet, but it doesn't get to the consistency I like. It's like she read my mind and new I was going to the grocery store for some kale. Love her. Kicking another should out to my girl Kym who arranged to have her friends write me. I got another card this week from a lovely lady from Mesquite. Thanks girl, I appreciate your kind words, it helps me going. To be honest cancer is cool in the beginning, but after a while it takes it's toll and the wear and tear on your body starts showing. I've been exhausted this last month. I remember those days where I would recover from chemo and in the last month I just haven't been able to. That sucks. Today I was able to leave the house for a non medical reason, first time in a long time! Sad sad sad.

Speaking of sad Tika went to the Rainbow Bridge (heaven for dogs) right before chemo number 5. I miss her so much because she knew me well. We got Dolly, a white applehead chihuahua with brown and black markings and she's a WILD CHILD! Hunter is like mom, why did you bring her! She helps get me through the days when I need a cuddle bug, and those days are like all the time now. I spend a great majority of my time sleeping...exhaustion is real!

Well I can tell by my imaginary empty glass of margarita that my time is up. As always thank you so much to my wonderful husband for putting up with my ass and everything that he does. He's the best!