Pump me UP and FAT FAT FAT

Grow grow grow!

Ok so boob cancer doesn't end after chemo or surgery...it like never ends. What do I mean by that, well what I mean by that IS

1. You have to wait for your shit to grow back...brows, lashes, hair, hair in unwanted areas...you get it
2. You have to deal with the weight.

Weight. Weight. Weight. This muthafuckin' weight. One of the most UNFORTUNATE side effects of BREAST cancer (not all were created equal, some people go through chemo and don't even lose hair...promise I'm not throwing shade) is the weight gain. 20-30 pounds. Yes I said it. Weight gain and bloating have been the biggest fucking disappointments to me because as the calendar will tell you Spring has SPRUNG and we are a stones throw away from summa'. If you live in the South, summer could be here any fucking day and my fat ass ain't ready. I have lost almost all of my chemo weight, I'm about 10 pounds from where I was pre chemo. Size 6, LAWD JESUS let me get there in the next month.

Ok so back to numbering shit

3. Reconstructive surgery bitches!! OMG I have not talked about that at all on here. So naturally, as the ORIGINAL Queen of the Big Titty Committee I refuse to be dethroned, especially by some bullshit ass cancer. So what I opted for is breast implants (don't think porn think a little more than tasteful titty) and fat grafting. I have no breast tissue so if they stick an implant in that shit will look weird like two rocks glued to my body or something. So over the implant he will put donor fat from errywhere, mid section, thighs (outter and inner puh lease, THIGH GAP BITCHES), and flanks (also known as LONJA/side and back fat). I'm telling him to take it ALL and what he can stick in my boobs to stick in my ass! Yes I've mentioned the ass thing, and I think a little fat redistribution will make me feel READY for summa'. Flat tummy, YES PLEASE!

Meh!

4. Food. Ugh. Ok so making this super short. On Tuesday Jav and I started a juice fast. 6 weeks of juicing different fruits and veggies in order to cleanse my system of chemicals, become more alkaline, and help with the weight loss process. I'll be doing updates every 10 days, why not a week well cause I don't WANNA! After we will juice M-W, Th-Sat will be healthy meals that are mostly plant based with organic seafood and turkey as protein additions. I'm already looking at vegetarian and low fat low sodium food recipes. Sunday=free for all.

5. I still have herceptin every 3 weeks. My 2nd (8th) one is Monday!

Now back to this disgusting kale, spinach, romaine juice. Ain't NOBODY got time for this, but I do have the weight for it!