Hopeful

"Be hopeful, yes I am hopeful for today. 

Take this music, and use it let it take you away

and be hopeful, hopeful

and He'll make a way 

I know it ain't easy, but that's ok"

Look who's sneaking turkey from  the
roasting pan!

I survived Turkey Day. New found respect to women who have to do this shit every year, BIG UPS! This year was my first and having to navigate a 22 pound turkey, 20 pound ham, side dishes, ordering pies, making trifle two dogs, a husband, and 13 people was a little cray cray, but I got it done. I knew when I logged off I wasn't going to get to pass out like I wanted...I got sick, then woke up sick. UGH! I put on my sumo sized panties at 7 am and got to work. 

1. Javi helped me take the turkey out of the brine

2. I thoroughly washed it

3. Patted it dry

4. stuffed legs in culo and  wings in and let that shit bake on 300 for the next 4 and a half hours. 

5. Put cloves in ham intersections

6. Glaze with Orange Juice, Molasses, Honey, and Maple Syrup

7. Put on 325 for and hour and a half....for 20.

Back to turkey

8 Add butter and jack up to 375 to brown for 25 minutes

PERFECT FUCKING TURKEY. May I suggest the Apple and Spice bine from Williams Sonoma (order it in October, it always sells out for the season by the first week in November) and a box of their brining bags. I added Apple Cider to the brine as well as water and I do have to say, it was the most fragrant, seasoned, and juicy turkey I've ever eaten. How bad ass that I made it myself! Javi wants me to try out for Masterchef, he thinks my food is the bomb.com and while I'd LOVE to do it I ain't got time for that!

Mustering the strength to beat my face

After I placed it in the oven I needed a nausea pill big time, there were already bodily fluid casualties and I just couldn't afford to lose a battle on Thanksgiving. Those knock me out almost instantaneously so I was out until around 10ish. Mom came and saw I was groggy and 5 shades lighter lol and panicked. She was making the stuffing (I don't do bread that's wet) and the gravy for me to help out as well as clean up a little while I put the pre cloved ham in the oven (Thank God for double ovens). Javi vacuumed while watching the parade, dog show, and football. Best husband ever!

Love being aunt Viv to these munchkins!

I feel so pale. Ugh, I threw the wig on and a tunic dress (from Lulus) and hoped for the best! I was exhausted and really didn't want to host anyone I couldn't wear house shoes and sweats in front of, but my parents are some conservative people who INSIST on dressing for dinner, so that was out the window. Elisama next time no parents, just US some paper plates and as house shoes ok?! Because sometimes a girl just doesn't give a damn about how she looks and is over throwing a hot ass wig on when she'd just rather scarf it up. But we all know as the Pilgrims (thieving ass bastards) were raping and pillaging (farming and borrowing) land from the indigenous of this country and they shared that now famous First Thanksgiving you don't see a girl with a barf bag in tow, or a headscarf so I figured to mark this momentous day of "coming together just to eventually drive apart" a wig was my best option. 

Besides...my lil boyfriend was here and I couldn't look a hot mess for him! Love me some Esteban and Isa aka BEST KIDS EVA......that's why they were in our wedding :)

 Chemo means more shit,
puke, hot flashes, runny
noses, burning inside and out,
taste gone, bleeding
gumsfatigue, sore bones...BUT
Chemo means more birthdays..where
I can act a FOOL! 

So I am very hopeful considering everything that's going on. FIRST my tumor is smaller! So much to be thankful for there. The chemo seems to be working, I literally think I'm puking and or shitting the tumor out...SO BRING ON CHEMO PART DEUX I am ready to be rid of it! But I'm glad that I have been so full of hope to think WHY NOT ME instead of WHY ME. That whole "I can't believe this is happening to me" is just so not ME. If it is you, that's great, if it ain't you know what the hell I'm talking about. Shit happens to everyone, the good, the bad, to people who deserve it, and to people who don't. How you handle the situation really defines why what happened to you happened in the first place. There are no accidents in life, only situations where you can choose to make the best out of it. This situation sucks but has taught me a lot, now people know that

1. You can be healthy and get breast cancer at 30.

2. You should do self breast exams monthly.

3. If you have a family history fight your insurance company to start your screenings early. 35 is not early enough, in my case 30 wasn't, but it's a great starting point. 

4. Find out if you have dense breasts. Remember that density does not always equal size. This may require an x-ray, pay it, you want to know. The denser the boob, the harder the cancer is to catch. 

5. You should always have a savings, because you never know when you are going to need that shit!

While I started out taking about hope I really want to end with thanks. I am most thankful for my husband, my rock, my sexy wubby Javier. He's awesome and is as much in the struggle with me as I am. He cooks, he cleans, he has assumed my responsibilities, and he doesn't even know how much he's helped me. Thanks babe! Love ya! God he's so HOT!

I'm also thankful for BROWS!